the hallowed doors of mother’s advice

As it turns out, this whole “joining the gym” thing is harder than I thought it would be.  Two reasons: a) my social anxiety of people watching me keeps going nuts on me whenever I drive into the parking lot and see more than three cars parked there.  My first thought is usually, “OHGODTHEY’REGOINGTOLOOKATMEANDTHINKI’MAHIDEOUSSLOB!” (and yes, I think it all it one long continuous word), even though I know that the people within the hallowed gym doors are probably just as anxious as I am, they’re just better at forcing themselves through it.  Although, they could be complete fitness snobs and turn their noses up at my flab as soon as I work up the nerve to go inside.  I just really don’t like people looking at me, which is going to make actually working out in said gym ungodly difficult.  Something I’m definitely not looking forward to, but willing to work through.  In any case, reason b) money issues keep coming up since I made the gymly decision.  My cell phone was dunked into a glass of water by the Elder Son and for a while there, I was afraid I was going to have to fork out oodles of money to get a new phone a week and a half before I’m eligible for an upgrade.  (Luckily, that’s fixed itself to a point where the phone is usable, albeit not perfect.)  Then just today my computer decided to contract some horrible computer disease, which meant buying a back-up drive (which, to be fair, I should have already have; I’m a bad self-proclaimed nerd for NOT having one).  Had I joined the gym today like I had planned, I probably wouldn’t have had the extra money in the budget to afford the back-up thingie, and I’d be up the proverbial creek.  So, for once, I’d say my social anxiety helped me out.

However, I do still plan on joining, just as soon as I work up the courage.

Meanwhile, I’m doing my best to eat consciously since I won’t have the exercise that went along with the animal hospital job.  Not a diet, per say, because I don’t believe in those ridiculous fad diets, but smaller portions of healthier stuff; whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies, lean meats, etc.  I keep thinking maybe I should actually give myself some kind of restrictions, but then I hear my (perpetually skinny) mother’s voice in my head: “You won’t lose weight by not eating something!  The only way to lose weight is to eat less and move more!”  And so, like any good daughter who was brainwashed at an early age, I listen to my mother’s advice.

Today’s weigh-in: 149.6


One response to this post.

  1. I used to have the same anxiety about the gym, but what I told myself (and still do sometimes) is that these people won’t judge me for being a fat slob because hey, I’m at the gym trying to fix that problem. And I’m way bigger than you, so if I can accept that they won’t judge me, you can totally do it too. Plus, it’s a gym in MS. MS folks aint got no room to judge.


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